Suit yourself

July 1, 2011

It began innocently enough. There was a wedding. I needed a suit. I heard an advert on the radio promising 3-for-1 suits at a—and I struggle to type this—reputable(?) men’s store called Jos. A. Bank.

Then where shit got real.

Trust me when I say it: shopping for a suit is terrifying.

Text conversation:

I’m trying to buy a suit this week.

Me too. Plain black.

Where are you looking? I want to get something sexy, but it’s not like I can throw out a grand.

Haha JC Penny. Mom has a discount.

Don’t forget to get it tailored.

Haha nah.

Midwesterners and suits:

$500 is “exorbitant.”

Sorry, guys. In the words of Max Wastler (LINK), “Suits, sadly, are a grand.”

Agreed. But we also know what you’re going through, guy who just graduated college and has never bought a suit before. And for you, there a couple of options that, while not ideal, will help you ease into the water instead of dashing headlong into the scrotum-tightening waters of the suit sea.

A conversation with my mother:

Well, keep in mind your body is going to change.

You can find a nice men’s suit for 100 to 200.

I know they’re models, but you have that kind of body.

I think people are going a little bit overboard.

Alfani, Calvin Klein, Izod (shudder).

pick something, move on.

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